Sephiroth and the Bubble Gum Incident
by Shinobi Saru Corp
Summary: Reno has gotten Genesis addicted to gum. In a heated argument, Genesis realizes that when he's shouting and yelling, that his gum has a tendency to fly out of his mouth. And where it lands, isn't always the best place.
1. Chapter 1

**_Sephiroth and the chewing gum incident_**

**_Written by Tora_**

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><p><span><strong><em>Chapter 1<em>**

_Smack smack smack smack…_

Sephiroth ignored it at first.

But the smacking grew louder. He could hear Genesis breathing with every smack.

Sephiroth was going to _kill_ Reno and then burn his body, then dance on his dust.

What was Reno thinking?! Letting Genesis have_ bubble gum_!

Sephiroth gazed into his PC blankly.

Genesis leaned back in his chair and held a stick of gum in front of Sephiroth's nose. "Yo, Seph. Wants some gum?" he asked waving the gum around.

Sephiroth shoved Genesis's hand out of his face. "No."

"Suit yourself," Genesis smacked back.

_Smack smack smack smack_…

Sephiroth's eye twitched.

_Smack smack smack smack smack smack…_

Sephiroth finally stood up, slammed his PC laptop close and stormed out of the room with the laptop tucked under his arm.

Genesis watched Sephiroth walked away. Was… was… the General… _upset_?! Genesis's eyebrows shot upwards. Had he just made the Silver General feel an emotion?! Genesis thought hard to himself, his mind racing. He'd made Sephiroth feel emotion sometimes, but not where he stormed out of the room!

The way his heels clicked!

Genesis giggled to himself. He knew it was a childish thing to giggle about, but he couldn't help but giggle like a school girl. _He had made the Silver General upset_! _UPSET_!

Genesis chomped on the gum with triumph.

Genesis stood up and stretched. His work was done. He just had to close up everything and deposit his gum, which was his favourite thing to do.

As he closed down some programs, he gazed around the room for the perfect place to leave his gum. His eye fell on someone's open laptop. After he closed down everything, he swaggered to the laptop, took out his chewed gum, and stuck it on the keyboard.

"Let's call it my little signature," Genesis mused to himself, as he stared down at the chewed up gum imbedded into the keyboard.

Genesis then dug into his pocket for another stick of gum. He liked a new stick of gum. New flavours, new texture, easy to chew, etc. After he popped the gum into his mouth his jaw began to open and close once more.

It started out like this… Reno had gotten Genesis addicted to gum. Reno didn't think that Genesis's addiction would cause ShinRa to go bonkers with Genesis's loud smacking. Reno did chew with his mouth open all the time, but Genesis smacked like heck! And Reno didn't leave gum everywhere. Genesis liked to be mean with his chewed up gum.

Genesis swaggered down the halls and chewing atrociously loud.

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><p>Sephiroth could hear the smacking from miles away.<p>

He sat in his room, working on paperwork, but he couldn't get the stupid smacking out of his head! He HATED that stupid redhead who swaggered around like he owned the world. Stupid redhead…

Angeal was also hiding in Sephiroth's room. Together they worked on their work. Away from Genesis.

Sephiroth's ear picked up a horrible sound. It was like a horror movie, he could hear the sound slowly coming closer and closer…

_Smack smack smack smack_…

Someone pounded on his door.

He knew who it was. Little Mr. Upstart with his stupid new friend. Gum.

"Sephiroth!" Genesis banged harder on the door. "I know you're in there!"

Angeal gave Sephiroth a panicked look. "_It's him_!" he hissed, as if it were a curse.

Sephiroth stood up.

"I need to deliver some papers!" Genesis snapped.

Angeal could imagine Genesis throwing his temper tantrum. He'd be stomping his foot, turning red, making a big scene in front of all the other SOLDIERs, and smacking his gum extra loud.

Sephiroth opened the door roughly and said, "WHAT?!"

Angeal was right. Genesis was red in the face, look like he had been stomping his foot, and he was smacking extra loud.

"Good Gaia!" Genesis smacked loudly. "What the heck is your problem?!" he pushed passed Sephiroth and walked into his room.

Genesis jumped onto the sofa, where Sephiroth had been sitting, propped his feet up on the coffee table, as if they ached terribly, and said loudly, "Why is your room so boring?"

He tossed some papers across the table and gazed haughtily at Sephiroth. "Hmmmmm…" he said. "Want some gum, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth shook his head.

"Get out," he said quietly.

Genesis jumped up and said, "But you and Angeal are partyin'! I want to stay with you two!"

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "_Out_," was all he breathed.

Genesis became angrier. He chewed loudly. "WHY?!"

Sephiroth turned his back on Genesis.

Genesis shouted, "I DON'T GET WHY I'M ALWAYS—"

At that moment, something flew out of Genesis's mouth. His teeth crashed down on nothing but teeth.

Something pink sailed into the air… and fell into Sephiroth's hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Written by Tora_**

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><p><strong><em><span>Chapter 2<span>_**

There was silence.

Then Angeal gasped, as his eyes told him what his brain wished not to see.

Then there was more silence. And more. And more. And then… the horror the horror, Sephiroth turned to look at Genesis.

The horror! THE HORROR! Oh what a horror his face was! WHAT A TERRIBLE SCARY AND ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING FACE HE HAD TO THE DNA MOLECULE! His face was… _blank_… _the deathly blank_ face of utter doom and death…

"Rhapsodos…" Sephiroth growled in a low voice, barely audible.

His lip twitched.

Genesis finally broke into high hysterical laugh of terror. "AHAHAHA… AHAHAHAHA…! Sephiroth… General… Sir…!" Genesis howled, but his voice was wobbly. "Did I ever tell you how very awesome and heroic you are…? Err… Sir… General… Sir… I mean… General Sir… OH MY! WHAT LOVELY HAIR! Might I just… cut a lock?"

Sephiroth was quiet, but his deathly blank face of utter doom and death did not waver.

Angeal made a weak giggle. "Gen… why don't you… just… you know, step away from the General...?"

Genesis blinked, but continued on, "I mean, you wouldn't _mind_ too terribly if I cut some of your hair? Maybe gave you a new gorgeous haircut, Sir?"

"Gen… step away from the atomic bomb… step away from the atomic bomb…" Angeal tried to warn Genesis.

Sephiroth turned his gaze to Angeal, who nearly sizzled and turned into a pile of ash dust on the spot. "Stay out of this, Hewley…" Sephiroth said sharply.

Angeal gulped. "Yes, Sir, sorry, Sir, won't do it again, Sir!"

Sephiroth turned his gaze to Genesis again. Then he gently grabbed a handful of hair and gazed at the gum, as if his gaze could burn away the sticky substance (apparently his hair wouldn't burn).

Ew. The thought of touching the gum made Sephiroth want to hurl something very heavy and hard at Genesis. Gum. In his hair. Gum that Genesis had chewed on. Gum that Genesis had _chewed _on! It had his yucky saliva and disgusting germs!

How was Sephiroth going to extract it… how… how…

Suddenly Sephiroth took two quick strides to Genesis, grabbed his ear, and began to pull him hard by it.

"_Shiva shiva shiva!_" Squealed Genesis indignantly. "OUCH!"

Then Sephiroth slammed Genesis' body against the wall and said softly, "If you want to live, you good for nothing brat, you had better do as I say…"

Genesis' face was pressed against the wall, so he said back, "In yer drems!"

Sephiroth grabbed a handful of the red headed boy's hair and began to slam his face into the wall a couple times. "I'm sorry—" _slam_! "I don't think I heard you—" _Slam_! "Properly…" _Slam!_ Snarled Sephiroth. "Repeat it again?" _Slam_!

Genesis swore his nose was now broken, and his head was spinning. His face was now pressed hard against the wall. "Yush, shur! 'll hulp yer, shur!" Genesis wailed pitifully.

"Angeal, translate what the brat said," Sephiroth said, glancing at Angeal.

Angeal wished not to be on the wrong side of Sephiroth. "He said he'd help you…"

Sephiroth then smiled the most horrifying smile ever. It was cold and crooked. "Good… then we'd better start. And if you get scissor anywhere near my hair, your life will be snuffed out before you have time to scream," Sephiroth said simply to Genesis.

Genesis sniffled and whimpered, "I shwear never to cut yer har! I shwear!"


End file.
